On Vacation Mode And Leaving Everything Behind

I've kind of neglected this place. I'm on sembreak right now so my mind is in my fandom. I have nothing to rant and rave or complain about for that matter (Actually I do but the situation is out of my hands so I'd rather not talk about it...) Such a boring person right? HAHA

I got my schedule three days ago after one hell of an enrollment (trying standing in line for four hours... it's absolutely NO FUN) and I found out I only have 3 days of classes. *happy dance* But... those three days would be jam packed. On Mondays I have a 9-12 PM, 3-6 PM and 6-9 PM class. On Wednesdays I have an 8-11 AM, 3-6 PM and 6-9 PM class. And on Thursdays I have a 1-4 PM class. My Political Dynamics class doesn't have a schedule yet but I do wish it would be on Thursday too since I only have one class that day.

I won't be doing much "journalistic writing" this semester but who knows really the professors always use the "you're journalists so you should write" lines on us. My subjects this semester include Art Appreciation, Retorika, Political Dynamics, Layouting & Copy Reading, Photo Journalism, Intermediate Spanish, Research for Major Fields (preparation for Thesis GAAH!)... I forgot my other subject. Anyway, it would seem like another interesting and hard semester. But I won't be thinking about that right now because I'm on vacation mode. ^^

Yesterday my dad and brother were talking about the migration thing. My kuya's graduating next year and they've started talking about his imminent move to Australia (I'm next). If all goes well, he could be out of the country by the end of next year. It seems so close doesn't it? I feel my own migration looming over my head. But it doesn't scare me anymore. I actually want to move. Have you felt that way? Like you just want to get away from everything. I want to start my life over.

I was so adamant when it came to this topic. My parents have always wanted to leave the country ever since I was still in high school. They wanted a better future for us. And being the stubborn and idealistic little girl I was thinking of ways to get out of it. I wanted to stay. I wanted to make my dreams come true. But what happens when your priorities shift? Because mine did. It shifted A LOT. And now I can't wait to get out of here.

Am I being cruel? Am I not nationalistic? The brain drain in this country is making people choose between two supposed ideals. One is staying and fighting while the other is being a coward and choosing the easy way out. Is that really how it is? When you leave your birthplace are you really turning your back on it? I would like to think it isn't like that. We all want better lives for ourselves don't we? If it means that we have to leave the comforts of our own homes, then that should be a sacrifice we have to make right?

I would be leaving so much behind. I'll be leaving a lot of people I love. And I'm honestly not good with saying goodbye. But this time I really want to see what's out there. If I were given a chance to leave tomorrow, I certainly would. But I have to wait for my turn right now. The me of yesteryears would be so terrified with what I just wrote down here now.